Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
