Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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