This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
