Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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