He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
