I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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