i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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