I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just gargled with NyQuil
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
