It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
