I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
