Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
