I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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