Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
