I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
