oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
