I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
