DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
