so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
