I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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