the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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