I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
