OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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