just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize