do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
