Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize