ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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