i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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