all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
