He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
