He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
