We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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