what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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