I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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