my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
