Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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