Just fell off a train. Bad.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
