I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
