youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
