i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
