Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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