Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
