I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
