At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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