did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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