how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Less talking, more tequila
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
