Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
