suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
