Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
