i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
