Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
