..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
