Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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