should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize