I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
