Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
