Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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