lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
