Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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