Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
