If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We left the knife in your bed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
