AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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